Your chances of stepping into the role as "caregiver" for a family member, are greater than you might think. According to the National Alliance for Caregiving and AARP, it is estimated that over 44 million caregivers have provided informal or unpaid care to an adult or child in the last 12 months. These family caregivers averaging 49.2 years old, have often provided care for family members for three or more years, an average of 13 days each month and helped with personal care, food preparation, shopping, cleaning, laundry, transportation, medication, dressing, bill paying and technology.
"Formal caregivers" are defined as those providing care for pay in a private home, day-care, residential care facility or a long-term care facility such as assisted living or nursing homes. The informal or unpaid caregiver often has an irregular schedule, works long hours without a break or assistance and may be aging as rapidly as the person for whom they are caregiving.
Family caregivers may initially take on the caregiver role to fill the gap until a more permanent solution can be found. Recently, I met a "70 something" energetic, youthful woman who came to town to help her "90 something" dad recover from a fall. Fast forward three years later, she was still fulfilling the caregiver role so that her dad could remain in his home of 64 years. Private pay care and nursing home residency was not an option for this family.
Neglecting your own needs and healthcare are commonplace among family caregivers. Irregular sleeping patterns, lack of personal time and space, transportation duties and housekeeping demands make self-care more of a challenge than ever imagined! Our health and that of our family members, can be as unpredictable as the weather and that is why we need to stock up on caregiver survival essentials.
To better manage your own self-care while caring for others, it is a good idea to make a list of priorities and regularly evaluate your progress in adhering to those guidelines.
"The Caregiver Helpbook," a resource from the Powerful Tools for Caregivers program, an independent non-profit organization in Portland, Oregon providing materials and technical assistance for family caregivers, talks about the importance of following the airline safety mantra - "put your own oxygen mask on before helping others put on theirs." You cannot be available for someone to depend on, if you are not taking good care of yourself. It goes on to suggest that you complete the following to help ensure optimal health and a more positive outlook:
• Set goals and make action plans.
• Identify and reduce personal stress.
• Communicate your feelings, needs, and concerns in positive ways.
• Cope with difficult situations, including asking for help and setting limits.
• Make tough caregiving decisions.
• Deal with emotions, especially feelings of anger, guilt, and depression.
Taking better care of yourself requires time, practice and commitment-the same requirements of a great caregiver. Allowing others to help (ask about available respite programs) will help you, the caregiver, to get the restorative rest and relaxation time you desperately need and deserve. Changing the expectations, we have of ourselves and others is often the most important step in managing good self-care.
Powerful Tools for Caregivers is a six-week series that will begin Feb. 21 at 1:30 p.m. at the Missoula County Extension Office, 2825 Santa Fe Ct., Missoula. Register online at https://powerfultoolsforcaregivers.eventbrite.com or by calling Missoula Aging Services 406-728-7682
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