Dropping our guard

“5 Let your gentleness show in your treatment of all people. The Lord is near. 6 Don’t be anxious about anything; rather, bring up all of your requests to God in your prayers and petitions, along with giving thanks. 7 Then the peace of God that exceeds all understanding will keep your hearts and minds safe in Christ Jesus.” (Philippians 4:5-7, CEB)

Over the years I have noticed how entangled anxiety and defensiveness are. Some of the most highly defensive people I have encountered are also the most insecure and anxious. In Paul's letter to the Philippians, perhaps this is something he is addressing.

Highly defended people, always ready to lash out at the slightest offense, are rarely gentle in their dealings with others. It seems as though they are just waiting for someone to slip up - say something or do something they find fault with - so that they can pounce on them, call out the offense and shame them.

It's true of many of us. Our guard is constantly up. We've always got our boxing gloves on, ready to clobber the nearest threat. It's sad, really. While we could get lost in the lament of it, or in finding someone or something to blame for it, perhaps Paul's reminder that we actually have some agency in the matter is where we need to start.

"Let your gentleness show in your treatment of all people." These words say so much, yet are so difficult to live out. Gentleness, one of the nine fruits of the Spirit (Gal. 5:22-23), is a quality of character that only grows if nurtured. It takes great effort to speak and act with gentleness - especially gentleness with all people. We start by dropping our guard.

We could imagine Paul pointing out, acts of gentleness are most important with those people who frighten us, the ones we don't understand, the ones with whom we disagree, "enemies" whether real or perceived. I wonder, if we cultivated more gentleness in our lives, in all our relationships and encounters, might we become a less anxious, less insecure and guarded people?

When we are heavily guarded, we may keep ourselves from getting hurt but we will also inevitably keep ourselves from experiencing deep love and joy as well.

What if our initial response in all situations was calm gentleness? What if we could expect gentleness from others? Sounds a bit like heaven. But then Paul does say, "The Lord is near." Throughout the Gospels, Jesus proclaimed: the kingdom of heaven is "near," "within you," "amongst you," "at hand." What if this is what both Paul and Jesus are getting at?

True experiences of heaven are keenly felt in our dealings with one another, particularly in moments when barriers come down and where divides are crossed, when we drop our guard. When gentleness is cultivated and nurtured, anxiety lessens and peace fills us--body, mind and spirit. Let's cultivate a little more gentleness in our lives.