Burning Down the House

Us: Some unusually bad hail came through this season and sadly it shattered many of our most precious stained glass windows in our home. What should we do?

Government: Start by pouring gasoline all through your house and light it on fire. When the neighbors show up to help, begin screaming “FIRE, FIRE” at the top of your lungs. Tell them to be calm but encourage them to join in.

When the crowds get large enough and loud enough, encourage them to burn down your neighbor’s house as well. And finally, if enough are willing and the rest are afraid or indifferent, quickly proceed to burning the who...


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