CURSED MEMORIES

They run through veins, through distant organs I didn't know I had.

Distant hospital that holds the sick in prison beds.

Ice cold memories of broken trust run through my shivering body.

Memories too harsh to even live through.

They haunt me every day, tears at night,

Throwing me out of my comfort zone.

He's laying there, cancer.

Cutting off his air support.

Untrustworthy cells.

These memories run through towns I want to run from,

but there's no open door to go through.

They're locked, like trust.

Secrets spill, overflowing the river bank,

tug and hang on my legs like slimy milfoil.

Like people, pull me in with more drama.

Like water.

They push me under.

Like cancer, poison.

Don't trust anyone, even if it may save my life.

What happens? I'll be stuck.

Dreams become nightmares.

Clowns scaring me, seeing him laying in the sick bed.

I hear the monitor's last beep,

signaling that he's gone.

The winter water that controls me, is like glass ice.

So when someone pushes me in, I freeze.

No one to catch me when I fall.

Wanting to reach out to him.

Why did he leave me all those years ago?

But this is my life.

Yes I'm without a father, but he's here with me,

as a spirit.

He watched me graduate.

All I can say is,

I'm glad to call him my daddy, my blood.