Do You Need a Will?

I wrote my will while the fetal heart monitors beeped as I lay in the hospital bed in Missoula. I was drinking my fourth milkshake of the day in a feeble attempt to add body weight to my soon to be born twins. At first, I was just vaguely worried about what would happen to them if something happened to me, then I became very worried. I need to do something. So, I tapped the nurse call button, asked for paper and a pen and wrote a will. Two weeks later I delivered babies A and B, my daughter Lawson and son William.

You can write a will yourself, called a holographic will or you can work with a lawyer who will guide you through the process and write the document for you. Doing one or the other is far better than doing nothing. It is only through a will that you are able to say who raises your children if something happens to you. In some families, the answer to the question of who will raise your children is obvious. But what if your family cannot agree? Should the children be raised by his spacey sister or your Neanderthal brother? In a will you can divide responsibility for your children's care.

For example, one person, say the sister, could be given custody of the children, and the other person, the brother, could be in charge of the money that pays for raising the children. Therefore, drawing on the strengths of both people involved with their upbringing.

It is possible to be even more creative. For example, you could specify in your will that when your children reach a particular age, their beloved grandparents will be the guardians for the summer months. Whomever you choose and however you structure your will, you who have chosen, not the court.

If you fail to step up to the plate, in both the easy and the hard situations, you have left uncertainty. This uncertainty will not help your children during the time when they most need stability. You may even have left the door open for disputes over who will raise your children.

The key is to talk to your spouse/partner, friends, families and attorneys. Get creative, get it decided and feel good knowing that you got the job done. I feel at peace knowing that I have provided for William and Lawson, a peace you can have too.

The community is invited to join me June 18 from 5:30-6:30 p.m. at the Double Arrow Lodge for a presentation on Wills & Trusts. The event is free with pizza and soda provided.